Santa and the Elf on the Shelf

I utterly ADORE the cosy/hygge/gezellig Christmas vibe. For me, there is nothing that spells the word FAMILY more than the weeks preceding and immediately following Christmas. Hunkering down for evenings in front of the TV, twinkling lights and warm suppers. Not to mention snuggling up for warmth and gatherings with those whom I love. 

Yet there is a part of the Holiday Season which leaves me feeling uneasy. 

The Elf on the Shelf brings a sense of light-hearted fun and an element of play – a necessary part of any healthy childhood. While Santa is a force of love with an intention of all children receiving kindness at a bleak time of year (in this hemisphere!)

Consider this year: does the Christmas fear surrounding Father Christmas and the Elf on the Shelf still represent your parenting intention? 

Do your children need to behave in a certain fashion to get gifts? Does Santa ONLY love “good” kids? When you employ “You’d better watch out, You’d better not cry” as your discipline of choice in the weeks before Christmas, do you see this as a nourishing behavioural technique?

Is there an elf hiding in your house spying on your children and reporting any misdemeanours? If so, does this fear of an internal spy cause your child any distress at being in their own home; their haven? Sure, some children will shrug this off; is this your child though? And if your child is genuinely scared… what then?

So I invite you instead to consider this: Christmas as a time for love and acceptance of all behaviours and a shift to the recognition that inconvenient behaviour is a child/young person asking for help when s/he hasn’t yet found the right words to express their need or feeling. 

Perhaps Santa and your personal elf can seek out and celebrate loving decisions made by your kids and reaffirm how awesome your children are. Maybe this is a suitable alternative for families who want to teach the Christmas message of kindness – recommended to me earlier today https://www.thegivingmanger.com. 

Maybe, Christmas 2021 needs a whole more connection.